The lies we all believe…

Hello all

It has been a while.  Rest assured dear readers, I have not forgotten about you, my loyal fan base.   The truth, in this case at least, is not as strange as fiction.  I have been busy with a lot going on, but honestly, I struggled to even think of a topic for this blog entry.

Then something sparked as it usually does, and all of a sudden I realised…hey…I actually have a lot to say on this topic!  Well, I just wanted to put it out there, and what better way to do it, than with a meme of one of my favourite actors off all time – Clint Eastwood.

It was actually from his role in the 2004 boxing hit – Million Dollar Baby.  Something about this meme has always stuck resonated with me…and then I watched this short little video on YouTube…

Going on about why the youth is bored.  Don’t get me wrong, this guy who owns the Thoughty2 channel had some interesting points to make, and I did agree with a lot of his assumptions and conclusions…watch it yourself and make your own mind.

The thing I took from the movie is this…people of today expect everything to be just given to them!  Very little hard work and input from their side.  No one is responsible for anything that goes wrong.  As a result, you have got a lot of angry, abusive and quite simply pissed off people who have not got what they wanted or assumed they worked for, and they are not shy to make it known how they feel.  I mean, look at who the Americans’ elected for president?  Donald Trump.

I actually quite like Trump, so this blog is not a Trump bashing entry by any means.  I respect the man as a business man…I mean, you don’t get to be one of the richest men in the world by not knowing a thing or two on how to run a business – and I see him applying some of those strategies to the ailing US and world economies and hopefully doing some good.  I just don’t like him shouting his mouth off about everything and everyone…To me every time he opens his mouth; it is like talking to a spoilt, petulant child.  He is the last person I ever thought the Americans would elect as, 10 years ago, he would have been described as his own worst enemy.

Yet, apparently, the only conclusion I can draw, is that it is OK to be pissed off and angry at the world and it is even more OK to shout, rant and rave about it so the whole world knows exactly how you feel!

And you know what, on a certain degree; I can actually understand his anger.

Going back to what this post is about, the Lies we believe…the Lies we even tell ourselves.  What I actually wanted to address with this post was one lie that I believe at least was a focal point for my upbringing.

“Do the work!  Then get the reward!” 

Who else was told this?  I know I cannot be alone here?  It started with our parents in one form or another?

“Get washed and dressed and you can watch TV!” 

“Eat this dinner and you will get a sweet…” 

“Do well in this school/sporting event and we will buy you…”

Then the teachers were also guilty of dangling the carrot…

“Do well in my subject or this project/assignment/exam and you will get the award for excellence…” or some such.

Then of course, you leave school…and go to work…and find out that life, the world, the job…does not work like that…at all!  And I hate the fact that I am teaching this to my son.

I know from mine own experience, and I have done it time and time again.  In my previous jobs as IT Manager and then Operations manager, the amount of times I was told something along the lines of…”Do this upgrade after hours or on weekends and you will get rewarded!”

Well, from the tone of this article, you should be able to guess what happened.    And time and time again, this was proved true…yet why do we cling to it?  For me, I would have to guess that it is a deep-seated psychological need for the world to play fair – I mean that is something else we were taught at school – that life is fair – but this was for the most of us, with the incongruity staring us in the face, we were taught this at High School!  I have to laugh…there was a movie a few years ago called ‘Sky High’ in which on the characters is quoted as saying the following

“The world is not fair.  And even if, on the very slight chance that the world decided to become fair, I doubt it would start at high school.”  We should have all been aware or at least wary back then.

And even now, the proof is there once again.  I have done the work.  I have managed the renovation, built a physical guest house and a business.  Struggled and battled my way to getting 5 rooms online…3 executive rooms and 2 self catering apartments…yet, the guests have not come…or at least not in the droves I was hoping for.

This is what I hinted on at the last blog post…this is where I am getting low and down.  And it is awful hard to put a smiling face on it and keep going.  But you have to.  I mean, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.  If I try to rationalise this, this is my penance really…this is me, paying my dues for the success that will eventually come…this is me slogging it out through the uphill battle that I have made for myself…and make no mistake about it, I am keen to continue.  And honestly people, I have to believe this, otherwise there is no point in going on!

I have dreams…one of them is run a successful business, to support myself and my family…this is the ground work I am laying for the success to come…it is just a low patch.

It is a low blow and it hurts when you can’t meet your bills at the end of the month.  It is low when you can’t afford groceries on your list.  And yet, nothing good ever comes easy.

In conclusion, and to apply this post to everyday life, I would advise you all…and tell your kids and friends too…

Remember these 4 things

1. Life is not fair. Get over the myth now, and make peace with it.  All you can do is mind your own business and do what you can to make it better for you.
2. Set goals and work for them…remember if it was easy, everyone would do it!
3. Make your default answer ‘No!’ Too many times, people give up too much of themselves ‘helping other people’ – people who are more than capable of helping themselves, but they have not actually ever done it as others have always helped them do it.  Some people call this type of people ‘toxic’ and for good reason.  Get rid of them from your life.
4. Finally, find something to help you keep the faith and make it through the day. For some it might be praying to your god of choice, your religion, rubbing a Buddha belly, kissing a cross or other religious icon…whatever elevates your mood and helps you keep going…then by all means…find it and do it.

I will not give up all my secrets of how I have survived so long through the battles I have been through…but I will share one secret of mine…I listen to uplifting music.

To end, here is one of my favourites that I listen to when I am low and things are hard.

The Screaming Jets – Better

The chorus says it best…

“They said you’d never get anywhere, well they don’t care, and it’s just not fair that you know, and I know better!!!”

Until next time…